I am still very much a juvenile.

By that, I mean to say I still get quite the laugh out of the most inane and vulgar things I come across. Sometimes I spend far too much time thinking about funny things than doing funny things but that’s besides the point...

Today, I had the TV on in the background. I do that much of the time, have the TV on in the background. It’s just something about having noise, the voices in the television providing a backdrop, it doesn’t bother me and somehow it fills up the empty space.

Tosh.0 was on which is the latest in a long series of shows that have internet videos with goofy commentary. Truly the funniest things happen in life without planning or more often than not when life goes awry.

In the course of commenting on a particular video, the phrase ‘Hot Pocket’ came up. Now, I’ve never been big on Hot Pockets. Maybe it’s an age thing (me being too old for them or something) but I am vaguely familiar with them as foodstuffs and it seems they’re always wrapped around some joke about the cliched picture of computer geeks.

In this case however, Hot Pocket meant something totally different and was part of slang I never heard before. When I looked it up, well... I just about passed out, I had a laughing fit that was so extreme, tears were in fact rolling down my face. Mind you, it’s totally vulgar, disgusting, repulsive - there are just a litany of adjectives that would apply but, I was consumed with laughter (which says a lot about me and my sense of humor).

Judge for yourself, from the urban dictionary:

1. The act of shitting inside a fold-out couch and then re-closing it, leaving it for an unsuspecting guest. (see similar terms: “upper-decker,” “mexican waffle,” “trunk muffin”)
   That drunk guy that slept over last night left us a hot pocket.
   
   
2. When a girl is going down on a guy and his balls start kickin right before he's about to cum, you shove his balls in his anus and yell "HOT POCKET!"
   “I'm about to cum...” (She shoves his ballsac into his anus)
   “HOT POCKET!”
   
   
3. Falling off ones skateboard in such a way that they land on their side. It usually happens when you lean back too far.
   “I went for a kickflip down that set but I was leaning back too far and I hot pocketed”
   
   
4. The act of taking a shit inside of a fold out bed and folding it up for someone else to find
   “SHIT that bum gave us a hot pocket last night”
   
   
5. Name for a pastry that took after the pop tart. except it is filled with nasty meat. It can only be served 2 ways;
   1. Warm outside, frozen inside.
   2. boiling lava hot, will destroy your mouth.usually given to patients suffering from constipation.
   “Hey Travis, would you like a hot pocket?”
   “NO!”
   
   
6. Prison term: two pieces of white bread with mayonnaise smothered in between. The mayo sandwich is then placed in the microwave to heat it up so it resembles a woman's vagina. It is then fucked.
   
   
7. Firstly a tight seal must be created- the male covers the vagina with his butthole. This is essential. Next the male emits a fart that MUST BE gassy and hot into the vagina. The desired effect mimics that of a microwaved hot pocket where the bag expands. After completing the emission the male quickly covers the vagina with his hand (as to maintain the seal). At that point he performs cunilingus. (Girl bragging to friend) “My boyfriend loves me so much that he gave me a hot pocket while we were watching the Wonder Years.”